


Halloween Hobbit Style

by SirGhirahim



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Day of the Dead, Folklore, Food, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, Horror, Jokes, Party, Scary Stories, Traditions, Trick or Treating, Urban Legends, sweets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-28 04:12:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8431399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SirGhirahim/pseuds/SirGhirahim
Summary: Bilbo starts to feel a little home sick when he realises Halloween was only a few weeks away. He becomes sad when he finds out no one in Erebor knows what Halloween is, so he tells them all about it. (Also mixes in some Day of the Dead traditions, folklore and popular urban legends)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. Please don't sue me I'm poor.

As Ori took a few books from the library shelf he notice his friend Bilbo was looking a little downcast. He was a bit nervous about asking what was wrong, but he didn't like seeing his friend like this. He put the books down on a table and approached Bilbo.

"Bilbo?" Ori said.

Bilbo jerked his head up and replied "Yes Ori?"

"Are you alright?" he asked "You seem a little sad"

"I'm fine Ori just a little home sick" Bilbo replied.

"I'm sorry to hear that Bilbo" Ori said "It must be tough living in Erebor compared to the Shire"    

"It is a little tough, but that's not why I'm sad" Bilbo said "I'm sad because I've learned that dwarves do not celebrate as many holidays as hobbits do"

"Well we do have holidays" Ori said.

"I know but not as many as hobbits, so when there's a day with a hobbit holiday I know that there is no point in me celebrating because dwarves don't know anything about it" Bilbo explained.

"And you're sad because the hobbits back home are celebrating?" Ori asked.

"A little sad yes, but it doesn't matter" Bilbo replied.

Ori thought about what Bilbo had said and came to a conclusion "Do you mean to say there is a hobbit holiday coming soon?" he asked.

"Yes a very big one and one of my favourites" Bilbo said smiling.

"What holiday is it?" Ori asked.

"Halloween" Bilbo replied.

Ori was going to ask more about Halloween but was called away by Balin. He would ask Bilbo later during dinner.

Hours passed and Bilbo was in the dining hall eating dinner. He was tucking into a delicious pie when Ori approached him.

"Good even Ori" Bilbo greeted.

"Evening Bilbo" Ori replied sitting next to him "I was wondering if you wouldn't mind telling me more about Halloween"

"I suppose I could" Bilbo replied.

"What's Halloween?" Fili asked curiously.

"It's a Hobbit holiday" Bilbo replied.

"What's it about?" Kili asked.

"It all about scaring people, pulling pranks, partying and getting sweets" Bilbo replied.

"Scaring people" Fili said excited.

"Pulling pranks" Kili said slyly.

"Getting sweets" Dwalin said rubbing his hand through his beard.

"You and your sweet tooth master Dwalin" Kili chuckled.

"It's sounds like a nice holiday but is that is?" Ori asked.

"What do you mean?" Bilbo asked confused.

"Well is just sounds like any other hobbit holiday. Is there no significance to it?" Ori asked.

"Of course there is" Bilbo said "There are many things that make this day special. We also call Halloween the day of the dead. We go to graves of are departed love ones and decorate their graves. We sit and talk with them and leave food for them. Everybody dresses up as monsters to protect them from evil spirits that break through the barrier between the living and the dead, that we call the witching hour. We carve Jack-O-Lanterns to ward off evil spirits and to invite the spirits of our families to join us for a feast" he explained "But my favourite part is the scary story telling"   

Ori wrote down every word Bilbo said with a big grin on his face "This is fascinating"

"I don't think I like the part about evil spirits" Kili said.

"Oh don't worry dressing up like a monster and the Jack-O-Lanterns would keep you safe" Bilbo said.

"I don't believe in spirits. Good or bad" Dwalin said gruffly.

"So you wouldn't invite the spirits of your dead loved ones to join you?" Bilbo asked.

"Well..." Dwalin said as his ego deflated.

"It sounds very interesting, but how did such a holiday come about?" asked Thorin who had been listening in.

Bilbo cleared his throat and began his story "Well it started hundreds of years ago. Not long after the hobbits had finished building the Shire they noticed strange things would happy on a certain day of the year. Hobbit's would see ghosts and sprits wondering the shire and not all of them were good. The bad sprits would scare and try to harm the living, so the hobbits hid in their homes out of fear. But the sprits didn't stop they would knock on the doors all night. One year a small group of hobbits decided enough was enough and tried to find ways to keep the sprits at bay. One hobbit by the name of Jack Lantern discovered that the bad spirits would not come near the pumpkins in his field and did a small experiment. He placed pumpkins in certain places around the Shire and saw that the spirits would not go near them. Once he told people everyone put a pumpkin on their front door to keep the sprits away. However it didn't always work when it got really dark, so Jack came up with another solution. He hallowed out the pumpkin, carved a scary face into it and put a candle inside. And then sure enough everyone began doing it and it worked perfectly the evil spirits stayed away. And thus the tradition of Jack-O-Lanterns was born"  

"Why wouldn't they go near the pumpkins?" Kili asked.

"We believe it might be the smell and when we carve a face into them and place a candle inside they look like they are alive" Bilbo explained.

"This is so amazing" Fili said "What happened next?" he asked.

"The next problem was when hobbits left their homes, they would be attacked by the spirits. So a hobbit by the name of Sally Fleetwood came up with an idea. She decided to disguise herself as a spirit and left the house. She was surprised when she wasn't attacked by any spirits and told everyone. They dressed up and painted their faces and found they were free to walk outside during the night without fear. And so the tradition of Halloween costumes was born" Bilbo explained.

"What do ghosts or spirits look like?" Ori asked.

"They can look like anything or anyone, they vary" Bilbo answered.

"So what do you wear on Halloween to keep you safe?" Dwalin asked.

"You can wear anything. Hobbits have dressed up as everything. Goblins, orcs, wolves, ghosts, witches, skeletons anything really" Bilbo chuckled.

"Wow. I would dress up as a big spider and scare the maids" Kili said.

"Not after what happened in Mirkwood" Thorin said.

"Even better we'll scare the elves" Dwalin laughed.

"What other things do you do at Halloween?" Ori asked.

"Well over time more traditions came about. We decided that if bad spirits were in the Shire then there were also good spirits, maybe even those of are family and families. So we decided that going to their graves and decorating them was a good way of inviting them back into the Shire. And then eventually we decorated inside and outside our homes" Bilbo explained.

"What kind of decorations?" Ori asked still writing down everything Bilbo was saying.

"Scary decorations. Fake spiders and cobwebs, ghosts, skeletons, bats, owls, cats, dead trees, severed body parts. Anything scary" Bilbo replied.

"That's sounds fun" Kili said "But what about pranks and sweets where do they fit in?" he asked.

"Well that came about when some children went around pulling very small tricks on their neighbours during Halloween and because they were in costumes nobody knew who they were. One year a young hobbit kept knocking on people's doors and running away, until he got caught. When he was asked what he was doing, in a panic he replied 'Trick or Treat' confused the older hobbit asked what that meant and he replied 'Give me a treat and I shall leave you be. Give me nothing and misfortune shall fall upon thee' the older hobbit realised what he was doing, he was pretending to be an evil spirit. She laughed and gave him a sweet and said 'I have treated you little demon now go away there is nothing else here for you here today' the child laughed and left with his treat and wondered if he could do it again. He knocked on the next and waited for and waited answer, when the person answered he said 'Trick or Treat' when he was asked what that meant he said 'Give me a treat and I shall leave you be. Give me nothing and misfortune shall fall upon thee' the older hobbit scoffed and shut the door leaving the child with nothing , so he pulled a trick. The child turned all of the older hobbits garden decorations upside down and went to the next house. The hobbit next door saw what had happened and waited for the child to come to his house. The child said to the older hobbit 'Trick or Treat' to which the older hobbit said 'I will give you a treat if you do not trick me spirit' the child said he wouldn't. So the older hobbit gave him a treat. The child ran away and told his friends what he had done and soon every child in the shire began the first Trick or Treating traditions" Bilbo explained.

"I want to that" Fili and Kili said in unison.

"Trick or Treating is only for children" Bilbo told them.

"Aw what?" Kili whined.

"Don't worry adults have fun too" Bilbo said "We have parties with alcohol and sweets and we get pretty creative with them as well"

"How so?" Balin asked.

"Well we make the food and sweets look horrifying. Like severed fingers, eyeballs and brains or blood filled cakes with slimy toppings" Bilbo answered.

"How do you get food to look like that?" Thorin asked.

"Usually with moulds to shape the food or we do it all by hand" Bilbo replied.

"Halloween sounds like so much fun" Kili said excited "Can we do it here uncle?" he asked.

"It is a hobbit tradition not a dwarven one" Thorin replied.

Seeing the boys deflated faces Bilbo spoke up "Anyone can do Halloween. It's all in good fun"

"What about the bad spirits?" Thorin asked.

"I think that only happens in the Shire" Bilbo replied.

"Please uncle" Kili begged.

"It would be fun" Fili said.

"I suppose if master Baggins could show us how Halloween is done"  Thorin replied.

Bilbo smirked like a cheshire cat and told the dwarves everything they would need for Halloween.

** A few weeks later. **

When the day of Halloween arrived Erebor had been completely transformed for the occasion. Scary decorations had been put up everywhere and terrifying food had been made. The dwarves of Erebor had dresses up in various costumes. The children were excited about Trick-or-Treating and pumpkins had been carved to perfection.

Thorin had taken advantage of this holiday by inviting the other nations to join in, but he did it mostly to scare the elves with all the spider related things.

Fili, Kili and Nori had set up a haunted house and were offering prizes for anyone who participated. They were later joined by Lord Elrond's sons Elladan and Elrohir their mischievous ways were perfect for the attraction.

Bombur had fun learning to cook unique food from Bilbo. Jelly brains, bloody drinks, gummy worms, caramel apples, cakes, spiders and maggots, a variety of pumpkin recipes and a very large variety of body parts and insides. They looked so real that many got scared when they were carried from the kitchens to the food hall.

The one thing all the dwarves looked forwards to was going to the graves of their family and friends to decorate and drink with them. Many sat at the graves all talked with them as if they were still alive. It brought some to tears and to others it brought smiles.

Once night time came parents took their children out trick-or-treating down the mountain and into Dale. Bard got into the spirit of things and took his children trick-or-treating, afterwards he would go back to Dale to join the party.

Meanwhile the elves of Mirkwood were thoroughly alarmed at everything in the mountain. By now Thranduil was sure he and his people were brought here to be scared on purpose. And he was not amused when Thorin offered him a glass of red wine with a spider ice cube in it.

Lord Elrond, Arwen and The elves of Lothlorien enjoyed the lore of the holiday the most. When Bilbo told them how the barrier between the living and the dead broke to let spirits in fascinated them.

Finally when midnight, the witching hour came around. People gathered outside to light their pumpkins, to welcome good spirits and ward off bad ones.

Thorin marvelled at how the Jack-O-Lanterns lit up the night and made the mountain look alive.

A little while later and all of the children were sent to bed. The adults meanwhile sat down to listen to Bilbo tell ghost stories. To their surprise hobbit's had made ghost stories about every race so there was a variety of stories to be told.

"The first story is called Rusty Shears and it takes place many years ago. A dwarf had come into the Shire and foolishly stolen an important hobbit relic. So in revenge the hobbit's cursed him. Every time he woke up he would find more of his beard gone" Bilbo said.

"Was that the curse?" Fili asked.

"Yes. The curse was that he would lose all of his hair, until he was bald" Bilbo replied.

The dwarves cringed at the thought.

"The dwarf tried everything to save his hair, but in the end is was futile and eventually he had no hair from head to toe and went insane. He went so crazy he decided that he would steal someone else beard to wear as his own. He picked up a razor and a pair of shears and went on the hunt for a new beard. Late at night he would wonder the streets looking for the perfect beard to replace his own and when he found someone with a beard he liked he would jump from the shadows and shear them"

All of the dwarves listened in horror and many hid their beards away.

"What happened then?" Dori asked.

"Every time he took a beard he would try to place it on his own face and each time it failed, so he went back out to find another one" Bilbo answered.

"But what happened to him?" Thorin asked.

"He died eventually, crazy and bald" Bilbo replied.

The dwarves breathed a sigh of relief at that revelation.

"However..." Bilbo added and everyone snapped back to attention "Even after he had died he still continued his search for a beard"

"H-How is that possible?" Kili stuttered.

"His ghost still continues the search" Bilbo answered ominously "Still carrying his razor and shears he would stalk his next victim until they fell asleep and then shave them as they slept. The end"

"That was horrendous" Ori said.

"It is and worse still you'll know when he's stalking you because you'll hear his rusty shears *snip* *snip* *snip* every day until he decides to shear you" Bilbo added. Bilbo was happy he had managed to thoroughly scare the dwarves and now is was time to scare the elves "Who's up for another story?" he asked "How about an elven one?"

The elves were curious but also nervous, as they sifted in their seats ready for whatever story Bilbo had.

"This story is call The Slit Mouth Elf. There once was a beautiful female elf who was said to be the most beautiful of all. She would receive compliments and proposals from men where ever she went. Her husband did not like the attention she received and accused her of infidelity. She denied his allegations and turned away from him. In a fit of rage the husband picked in a knife a slit her mouth from ear to ear and said 'Who will think you are beautiful now?'"

"No elf would do such a thing" Thranduil said.

"You don't know what happens behind closed doors and that is a true horror story" Bilbo pointed out and then continued with the story "Three days later in absolute despair the female elf took her own life and her curse was born. The ghost of the elf would walk the earth wearing a mask around her mouth. She would go looking for male elves and approach them. When the male responded she would ask them 'I am beautiful?' if the male replied no she would slit their throats. If they said yes she would take off her mask revealing her slit mouth and asked again 'Am I beautiful?' if he said no she would kill him"

"What if he said yes?" Elrohir asked.

"She would slit his mouth open like hers and then leave them" Bilbo replied.

"I would have run away" Legolas said.

"That wouldn't do you any good, she would follow you no matter where you went. She is dead, she is a supernatural being you cannot get away from her once she targets you" Bilbo replied. He smiled wickedly knowing that the elves were now afraid.

So finally it was time to scare the humans "And for are final story we have a human one called The Licked Hand. Once there was a girl who was home for the first time with only her dog for company. The day before she learned there was a serial killer on the loose and made sure her house was locked up tight. That night when she went to bed she let her dog sleep under bed. In the middle of the night she woke up to a dripping sound coming from her bathroom and despite finding it unsettling she was too scared to get up. She reassures herself that her dog was still under the bed, she put her hand down and lets the dog lick at it. She lies awake for a while listening to the dripping sound and every so often lets her dog lick her hand. Eventually she falls asleep again. The next morning she goes into the bathroom and is horrified to see her dog had been killed and strung up and that dripping sound was the dogs blood. And there on the wall written in blood was 'HUMANS CAN LICK TOO' The end"

"So the dog wasn't the one under the bed licking her hand?" Bard asked.

"Nope" Bilbo replied. He noticed a few people shudder and decided it was time to turn in "Well it's late and I am going to bed" he said getting up from his seat.

"Is Halloween over?" Kili asked.

"Yes, but don't worry there's always next year. If the ghosts of the dwarf or elf lf don't get you"  Bilbo laughed.

"Ha ha very funny master Baggins" Dwalin said sarcastically.

"Yes it is. Well good night, don't let the serial killer bite" Bilbo said before leaving.

That night as Bilbo slept soundly the rest of Erebor's inhabitants did not. They lay awake listening for the sounds of rusty shears snipping or mysterious dripping noises or a woman asking them if she was beautiful.

When morning came the elves and men left Erebor tired and still a little disturbed. The dwarves began the clean up that took longer than necessary due to their own lack of sleep.

As for Bilbo he gave himself a nice pat on the back for a successful Halloween and looked forward to it again next year.  


End file.
